July 7, 2023
The Yoga Sutras don’t talk about codependency because that term wasn’t coined 5,000 years ago. The term codependency was first used in the 1950s in the Al-Anon program. The founders of AA discovered that the loved ones of alcoholics felt that their lives were also out of control. They enabled to feel safe. Now we know that codependent behaviors develop around many other types of unhealthy relationships. Most people use them in one way or another to feel safe in unpredictable environments. Yoga can be a great way to work on healing codependency by helping you improve your inner world.
A game-changing book for me was Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. She explains the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another. We discover all kinds of behaviors to try to manage others. This helps us for a while and inevitably hurts us. I highly recommend this book if you suffer from anxiety. You will see yourself and the people around you in the pages. It can inspire you to change with compassion for yourself and boundaries with others.
YOGA AND CODEPENDENCY
I was into yoga way before I knew I was codependent. My time on the mat brought me back into my body and myself and when a class was over I didn’t want to get up and go back into the real world. I hadn’t put the pieces together that the real world was scary to me and I was losing my sense of self out there. Or that most of my thoughts and actions were about figuring out what other people wanted from me or wanted me to be. My inner world was just as crazy as my outer world seemed.
Putting the puzzle pieces together between codependency and improving my inner world on the mat have changed my life in enormous ways. With yoga, meditation, mindful art, and walking, I’ve discovered ways to feel safe inside instead of looking for other people and places to do that for me.
INTENTIONS AND SELF-TALK
What you say to yourself during mindful activities matters. These practices heal because you are bringing all parts of yourself with you. When practicing, make sure you set an intention and be aware when you lose it so you can return. Be choosy about your intentions. If you’re feeling the pull of codependency, choose intentions for yourself and not others. Ask yourself what you truly want and need to have more peace.
Both in and out of mindful practices, become more aware of your self-talk. Speak as if speaking to you as the child you once were. Remember her innocence and sweetness and that she needs to hear words of love and comfort. See her and acknowledge how she feels. Remind her that you, the adult, are here now to take care of her.
MINDFUL ART FOR YOUR INNER WORLD
Mindful Art has become a big part of my life because I feel like I did as a child. I can express myself as an adult who remembers what it felt like when I was little and began forming codependent behaviors. It’s a place where what’s inside of me comes out so I can see it. I’m not concerned with what it looks like. It’s a way to unstuff myself.
Try this Body Scan Meditation to help you get into your body and improve your inner world.